listen

Posted on April 25, 2009

2


the kid sits at the lake shore and everything is happening around him. not some things, all things, all the time and at the same time. he puts out his tongue in the sun under the clear blue sky.

my tongue feels funny against the sky. i touch the sand and the sand touches me back. the water calls me. it is nice though it is cold. i step into the waves. the water runs into my shoes. now mummy screams at me. but i like the water in my shoes. it tickles my toes. mummy cries. she hasn’t got fresh pants. she hasn’t got a towel, she says. i smile at her. she stops crying and hugs me. i hug her back, but i want to get back to the water. mummy doesnt let me. she pulls off my shoes and my pants and says play in the sand, not in the water. it is cold. i know, mummy. i know the water is cold. i like when it tickles my toes in my shoes but now i don’t have shoes. i don’t have pants either.

the sand is warm. i lick the sand and take it in my mouth. now i make funny noises with my teeth. listen mummy. she doesn’t listen. she strokes our dog, pantan, and whispers good dog good dog good doggie. i like mummy’s voice when she whispers. the dog moans. he doesnt talk much either. a couple with their kid are having picnic. the kid smells good. i go to them and throw some of the warm sand, and i moan like pantan. suddenly mummy stands over me again and yanks me away – he didn’t mean it, i am sorry, he is autistic, he is he isn’t he is he doesn’t, he can’t, he doesn’t talk but he understands everything you tell him. sure i do. but they don’t. they don’t understand anything. the people look at me like they look at pantan. i moan some more. they talk to mummy. i want to get away now. i want my pants and my shoes back. i put my tongue in my mouth. nobody is talking anymore. pantan runs off.

i love you mummy and i understand everything. i count the sand in my mouth. i am calm now. i love you mummy, don’t think i don’t love you because i don’t say it. listen, mummy, i can count grains with my tongue. listen to that.

(c) 2009 finnegan flawnt

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