Posted on February 8, 2009


.. may still go to #hollywood.

the other day, i took a plane from hollywood down to cape town to visit @franki_ a girl who followed me via twitter, the latest and greatest in international memetic travel. we had to settle an underscore, so obstinately positioned after her name, so i took my french foil, which a fencing master had once given me upon sparing his sporting life. at that time, i was still famous.

twittergirl lived in a slummy neighbourhood compared to my los angelesian den: in the californian hills, i could have any number of half-baked stars for dinner and more. here, i smelled the stench of the grey bourgoisie, which brought me back to my boyhood and those school years in hammersmith. i felt nostalgic and sheathed my foil. this was going to be a fun trip, a summer vacation in the middle of our winter.

we met on table mountain for dinner: servants in white brought us quail and frog soup spiced with onions grown by namibian gangstas. i read the body electric out loud and cats responded. i drew my straw hat, which i had bought for the momentous occasion, and she spit in it. what had so auspiciously begun between characters and tweets turned into a party when her friends rode up the mountain in hoppers and vespas and motocross flitzers. the joy!

photographs were taken too and fed into a giant database of super models. these pictures would be taken on a mission by pioneer VIX who would probe the intergalactic space not carrying mathematical formulae or bach fugues, but images of the finest and most graceful of our race as well as our world’s most successful brands: a shoe from nike, a cellophane-wrapped hamburger from mcdonalds, and a new slimming coca-cola with not zero but negative sugar content. there would also be space on board, i was told, for an image of his majesty the frymaster. unfortunate for me, i was told that a giant iguana who also lives on the mountain, had jumped in front of the lens in the very moment the picture was taken so they could not accommodate my aspirations to transworldly stardom. since i had been famous before, i didnt even cry.

i yet had to have a single moment alone with twittergirl. alas, she was called away to a photoshoot involving a pair of large, enormously large gorilla toes. to prove a point which i have forgotten, but my dear friend professor pangloss assured me in our therapy session that i do not need to know everything, and i don’t have to go everywhere or talk to every single soul on the planet. this twitter thing, though, it does make you feel dizzy with possibilities!

i took off from cape town with a twist in my step and my stiffness all turned into tatter, leaving the promise with @franki_ to visit me in the hollywood hills. as my plane pulled away from the horn, i saw twittergirl stand on the platform, iPhone in one hand, tweeting me already.

© 2009 finnegan flawnt