Posted on January 24, 2009


johnson had found a way to store kinetic energy in its purest form. he didnt have a lot of money though, so he put the cube of energy in the trunk of his car and forgot about it when jamie’s truck collided with a cow on main street and he had to bring jamie to the hospital. and when he returned to his car, the trunk had been opened and the cube of pure energy stolen.

little billy conolly had found johnson’s car, found the trunk not locked and looked around for something to play with. he’d only found the cube, taken it, thrown it on the ground, tried to bite a piece off, and then he put it in his pocket, since you never knew when you could use something like this. though he had no idea what it was.

in truth, the cube of pure energy was more useless than a piece of chalk or wood – you couldnt draw with it on the pavement, and it wouldn’t burn. for it do anything, as even johnson didnt know, you had to be near a black hole of zero energy. then the cube would be like a key to any parallel universe that happened to be connected at the time to the cube. there simply was no way of telling which one.

now, you probably think either that these black holes dont exist or that if they exist, can only be found in far faraway galaxies at the edge of our universe. if this is how you see it you listened too much to scientists or priests. for both of them the real fun stuff is usually a long way off in space or time, and normal people (non-scientists or non-priests that is) can only hope to get a glance of it by paying scientists or priests who then tell them about it.

but nothing could be further from the truth. we are literally surrounded by little black holes. most of them are smaller than the smallest bit of dust, so tiny in fact, that you can hardly see them. so they dont bother us and we dont bother them. you see, without this cube of pure kinetic energy, nobody would have ever
been able to use them. little billy connolly didnt have a clue either, but when he walked down the road away from johnson’s car towards auntie elsie’s house to throw some stones at elsie’s cats, he came across one of these holes, and since he had the cube in his pocket, the two of them connected and – woosh! – he was transported to a parallel universe.

funnily enough for the uninitiated, he didnt even notice anything, because the parallel universe on the other side of the tiny black hole was in almost every way like our world. except in two ways: it did not contain a cube of pure kinetic energy (which had been annihilated during the transit through the hole) and little Billy
Connolly had something that never occurred to him where he had came from: he suddenly didnt want to throw stones at auntie elsie’s cat anymore, or run after derek the idiot shouting “dumb derek dumb as a doorbell didledy dumb derek!”. instead he felt like drawing something and making something beautiful, with colours and pens or with paper, or with anything at all if it was only beautiful. yes, in this other world, billy connolly aged 9 and the naughtiest rascal as far as his mother was concerned, wanted to be an artist, though he didnt know it yet.

and far far away at home, johnson rubbed his forehead trying to remember how he made that cube of pure kinetic energy, but he couldnt think of it at all. so he went home and thought of something else nobody had ever thought of before.

© 2009 finnegan flawnt

Posted in: wordoftheday